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The effect of halal and haram on the personality and character of children

Ubqari Magazine - December 2016

The creator of universe has blessed the human being with countless blessings. One big blessing from these blessings is offspring. This is the reason that the creator of universe has said somewhere by mentioning offspring as blessing that: Property and offspring’s are blessings of worldly life. We helped you with the money and sons.

 

O Allah grants me pious offspring:

Offspring is not only flowers of heaven and magnificence of house but a sadqa-e-jariya and reason of peace and happiness. This is the reason that Prophets are seen place to place in Quran, asking pious offspring from Allah SWT. Somewhere Hazrat Ibrahim  علیہ السلامis seen asking “O my Allah! Grant me pious offspring”. Somewhere Hazrat Zakarya علیہ السلامsays: “You give me a waris from you, who will be the waris of mine and generation of Yaqoub”.

 

The offspring to whom Allah says a blessing and to whom prophets ask from Allah SWT and who is said to be the coolness of eyes, darling, magnificence and support of old age: If it is not trained properly then it makes the life of parents destroyed and makes their peace of day and sleep of night hell. Sometimes, parents while getting irritated say till here that, may you have not been burn but before doing false dua, parents don’t think that the misbehavior of offspring is the result of their own wrong training. If their training would be better than they would not have to see this bad day.

 

Rights of offspring:

As the love, kindness and favors of parents are countless, so their rights are also countless. Offspring will complete their rights when they will themselves complete the rights of offspring. The first right of offspring over father is that he should find good mother for them and its compulsory for mother that she should marry such husband who can be proven a good father of her children. The reason of it is that in the character of child and personality building, the most effect is of the child’s mother. If the mother is pious then the nature of child progress very easily and achieves the height of success. This is the reason that Prophet ﷺ suggested to choose a pious and religious woman so that she may do the training of children nicely and in the heat of child may saw the relation with Islam and good manners. Prophet ﷺ said, “Marriage from women is done on the basis of 4 things. 1. Due to money. 2. Due to beauty. 3. Due to her family background. 4. Due to her religion. You achieve success in choosing a religious woman. (Mishkaat: 267). It is obvious from this saying of Prophet ﷺ that physical beauty, money and property and family background should not be seen for choosing that these things are temporary, however are to be finished. If by giving importance to these physical things, a choice of non-religious or bad character women is done so the offspring born will have her effect and it will also be non-religious and filled with love of this world, whose result will be that apart from struggling he could not be able to make his offspring talented and workable man which name of child should be kept? The second right of offspring is to suggest good name for them. The reason of this is that the name tells about the personality of person and from name is done introduction of man. That’s why such name should be kept that should prove a Muslim, slave of Allah and slave of Prophet ﷺ. Such undoubtful name should not be kept from which it won’t be known that the child is Muslim or non-Muslim and such name should also not be kept that would proof to be of bad meaning. That’s why Prophet ﷺ used to change the names with bad meanings. The proper way to keep names is that Prophet ﷺ said: When a child is born then parents keep his name on the 7th day and get his head shaved on the same day and do his aqeeqa. In one more riwayat it comes that the most beloved name to Allah is Abdullah and Abdur-Rehman. Hazrat Moosa Ashari رضی اللہ عنہ says that when a son was born to my wife so I took him and went to Prophet ﷺ. He kept his name Ibrahim and chewed one date and kept his holy saliva in the mouth of child and prayed for him for goodness and beatitude and gave him to me. That’s why we should keep the names of children on the names of Prophets, family members Rizwan Allah, companions of Prophet ﷺ and saints of ummah.

The attitude of love, kindness and sacrifice:

The third right of offspring is that with it the attitude of love, kindness and sacrifice should be kept. Reality is that children are beauty of universe, they are the magnificence of world, on the innocence of children, and the beauty of thousands of buds can be sacrificed. That father is so much unlucky and hard hearted who doesn’t love his children. In Abu- Daood and Tirmizi, it’s referred from Hazrat Abdullah Bin Amar رضی اللہ عنہ that Prophet ﷺ said: that man is not amongst us who doesn’t do mercy on our youngsters and doesn’t recognize the right of elders. Imam Bukhari in Al-Adab and Al-mufrid refers from Hazrat Ayesha that one villager came to meet Prophet ﷺ and said that do you people kiss the children? We don’t kiss. So Prophet ﷺ said: If Allah جل جلالہ removes mercy from your heart so what can I do for you. (Bukhari: S, 317, J, 1)

Imam Bukhari رحمت اللہ علیہ refers from Hazrat Abu Hurairah رضی اللہ عنہ that Prophet ﷺ kissed Hasan Bin Ali رضی اللہ عنہ ; there Hazrat Aqra Bin Habis Tanimi رضی اللہ عنہ was sitting. After seeing this he said, that I have 10 children, I never kissed anyone of them ever. Prophet ﷺ look surprisingly towards him and said: The one who doesn’t do mercy on others, mercy is not done on him. (Bukhari, S: 86, J: 4). and it has come in one more hadith that Prophet ﷺ used to kiss Hazrat Hussain Kareemain R.A and smell them and said: (ھما ریحان من الدنیا) (Reference Bukhari and Mishkaat, S: 569). Do they bring up of offspring with halal rizq. The forth right of offspring is that their brought up should be done with halal rizq. The reason of this is that in book and sunnah to attain halal rizq and pure food is given importance because the effect of food happens on human’s heart and mind. The effect of food falls up human’s feelings and thoughts and especially the effect of food falls upon the offspring of human. If the food will be haram and impure so the heart will become black, it will become dark and hard, the talent of accepting guidance and inborn talent will finish. To do good will become difficult and to do sin will be easy and especially the offspring will be disobedient. This thing has come into experience that those people who make their offspring eat haram food, in their children the effects become visible and the mothers who depend upon halal, in the children who are being brought up in their laps, have the color of taqwa and piousness of their mother and in history these sort of incidents are full

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